


Studies in the Alphabet of Affection

by damntrobed



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, M/M, One Shot, i hate tags ngl i'm so bad at them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 17:40:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30059121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damntrobed/pseuds/damntrobed
Summary: Abed teaches Troy a new word on their weekly phone call during his trip.
Relationships: Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir
Comments: 9
Kudos: 58





	Studies in the Alphabet of Affection

**Author's Note:**

> this entire thing is 100000000% based off of [this post](https://crescendo-for-survival.tumblr.com/post/178046262807/one-word-ideas-for-when-youre-feeling-stuck)  
> i also have to thank my space cowboy for reading this over first :') ily <3  
> be happy, be safe, be well.  
> much love to you all
> 
> edit: bless all of you who have corrected me on anything i had wrong regarding the translations i appreciate all of you so much <333

**a.**

“What’s today’s word, Abed?” Troy whispers through the phone. Abed can hear his breathing, slow and quiet and deep on the other side of the world.

“Today’s word,” he says back to him in an equally quiet tone, “is antiscians.”

“What does that mean?” Troy asks through a small yawn.

“They’re people who live on exact opposite sides of the world.” Abed says, reading his note on his laptop. “It says, ‘those whose shadows at noon cast in opposite directions.’ And I think we’re about as close to being on opposite sides of the world as we can be.” His tone shifts into sadness, something he was trying to avoid.

“Antiscians.” Troy says back breathily.

“Yeah, antiscians.” Abed whispers.

“It won’t be much longer.” Troy says to him softly. Abed smiles to himself. “I’m coming home to you soon, my love.”

“I know.”

**b.**

“Basorexia.” Abed says gently. “Any guesses?” 

“Hmm…” Troy makes a face like he’s thinking really hard, making Abed chuckle. These video calls were rare, and he was afraid if he blinked he’d miss something. “Not a clue. What is it?”

“The overwhelming desire to kiss.” Abed says, his eyes flitting to look at Troy’s lips. _I miss him so fucking much_.

“Oh.” Troy says softly, and Abed catches his eyes move downward, too. Maybe he’s looking at Abed’s lips like he’s looking at Troy’s. “I feel that right now.” he says quietly.

“Yeah. So do I.” Abed replies. He runs the fabric of Troy’s hoodie through his fingers. It still smells like him.

**c.**

“We’re on C.” Troy says, sighing as he settles himself into bed. He puts an arm behind his head, scratching at the back of his neck.

“C, C, oh, here it is.” Abed says through the phone, giving a quiet _ah_ as he finds what it is he’s looking for. Troy can see his little grin with his tongue sticking out clear as day. He probably just tapped his toes together, too, like he does when he gets excited. “Portuguese. Cafuné.” The word rolls off his tongue. 

“Hm.” Troy closes his eyes in response. “I like the sound of it.”

“The act of tenderly running your fingers through someone’s hair.” Abed reads. “We do that all the time.” 

Troy smiles. “Yeah. We do, huh.”

“Now we have a word for it.”

“We sure do.” Troy grins. He runs his fingers through his own hair, but it doesn’t feel the same.

**d.**

“We have a French word today.” Abed says, sitting down at his desk and studying the pronunciation in front of him. He’s been practicing all week, he just wants to make sure he gets it right.

“I love French.” Troy says, exhaling heavily on the other end of the phone. “Never know what they’re saying, but it sounds so pretty.”

“Dépaysement.” Abed says carefully. His accent isn’t as clean as the French, but he figures he gets it close enough. 

“That could mean ‘fuck you’ and I’d still tell you it was the prettiest thing I’ve ever heard.” Troy laughs. “I’m sure it means something nicer than that, though.”

“It’s the feeling that comes from not being in one’s home country. Like a fancy way of saying homesick.” Abed reads off the screen before closing his laptop.

“I know what that’s like.” Troy says, his tone serious now. The line’s quiet for a moment.

“You’ll be home soon.” Abed tries to reassure him, unsure if the sincerity in his voice makes it through to Troy.

“Can’t get here soon enough.”

**e.**

“German is a hard language to do. You think you have the throatiness for it?” Troy teases. 

“I’ve been practicing all week for you, alright, don’t make fun. Besides, I bet you don’t even know any German.” Abed retorts. 

Troy puts his hands up in mock surrender even though Abed can’t see them. “You’re right, you’re right. Please, continue.”

Abed clears his throat. “Erlebnisse.” he says carefully. “I think I got it right.” 

“Sounded German to me. What’s it mean?”

“The experiences, positive or negative, that we feel most deeply, and through which we truly live.” Abed says thoughtfully. “That’s what you’re doing. This is the experience through which you truly live.” 

His voice is soft, and Troy wishes he could see him in person. Hear him say these things in person. Experience this with him _in person_. “Definitely getting the whole spectrum of feelings with this experience.” he says, catching sight of himself in the mirror. Funny how a person can look happy and sad at the same time.

**f.**

“Another German word.” Abed tells him over the phone, shaking out his hands and rolling his neck like that will help him at all for the pronunciation portion of their weekly call. “This one is hard, because it sounds nothing like what it looks like.”

“I’m sure you’ll do great.” Troy encourages him. “C’mon, let’s hear it.” 

“Fernweh.” Abed tries, and makes a face at himself. “I just about butchered that one.” 

“Definitely German.” Troy laughs, and Abed smiles to himself. 

“It means feeling homesick for a place you’ve never been to.” he pauses. “It’s the closest thing I could find to how I feel lately.”

“What do you mean?” Troy asks gently.

“It’s like…” Abed tries to think of how to say it. “You talk about all the places you’ve been to, and when I hear about them, I get the same feeling that I feel when I hear about Colorado, or when Jeff calls and tells me about Greendale. But I don’t think I feel that way about the _places_ you’re going. I think I’m just homesick for _you._ ”

**g.**

“Buongiorno amore mio.” The words fall seamlessly off his tongue. “Come stai?”

“Starei meglio se fossi con te.” Troy replies, the words stumbling out of his mouth. Abed had picked up the Italian a bit better than Troy did when they learned together, but Abed also knew about ten languages, so Troy wasn’t too jealous. “È la nostra parola Italiana oggi?”

“Sì. Gibigianna.” 

“Cosa significa?” Troy asks, looking out of his hotel room at the setting sun on the coast.

“Luce riflessa sull’acqua.” Abed says.

Troy smiles. “Quanto ѐ appropriato.”

**h.**

“Didn’t Walter Mitty go to Iceland?” Troy asks.

“Yeah, I was just watching that movie actually.” Abed smiles. “That’s how I got the idea. Icelandic isn’t as hard as German.”

“I’m ready.” Troy says.

“Hugfanginn. Literally, it means ‘mind-captured’, but it basically means to be fascinated by someone or something.” Abed reads, looking at the paused movie behind his laptop. It’s the scene where he longboards down a windy road in front of mountains so large it makes Ben Stiller’s character look like a doll. He wonders if Troy has seen anything like that.

“I can say that for a lot of things.” Troy says simply.

“Yeah? Like what?”

“Like you.”

**i.**

“You’ve already been to Japan, right?” Abed asks him. Troy takes a sip of water from his bottle.

“Mhm.” he replies through a bottle.

“You might know this one then.” Abed clears his throat, making Troy smile. He does it before every new word in a new language. Like he’s trying to do it perfectly. “Ichariba chode.” 

“‘Though we meet but once, even by chance, we are friends for life.’” Troy smiles. “This old lady we were staying with, she saw my picture of you in my wallet, and she asked about you. Her English was broken, and I didn’t know enough Japanese to hold a conversation with her, but she knew what I meant when I said best friend. And that’s what she said. When I got a chance to look it up, it made perfect sense. Ichariba chode. That’s what I felt the first time we met. Like we were always going to be best friends, no matter what.”

“That’s really beautiful, Troy.” Abed’s voice is quiet. “That’s how I felt, too.”

**j.**

“You like the French ones, right?” Abed asks, pressing the phone between his shoulder and his ear as he wiggled into his pajama pants. Well, Troy’s pajama pants.

“Mm, yes, I do love the French ones.” Troy hums contentedly. “Mon amour. That means my love.” 

“We’re not on M, yet.” Abed says, double checking his calendar, the letters of the alphabet scrawled into the corners of every Saturday.

“I know, I just wanted to show you I could learn some stuff, too.” Troy sighs, and Abed can tell he’s in a good mood. Relaxed.

“Your French sounds nicer than mine.” Abed says.

“Eh, the confidence is what sells it. Alright, what’s our word this week?” 

“It’s a phrase, actually. Joie de vivre.” Abed says. “Something you’re familiar with.”

“Heard it before, couldn’t tell you what it means.”

“A zest for life. Knowing how to live.” 

Troy laughs, making Abed smile as he crawls into bed. “Almost by force, don’t you think?”

**k.**

“This one is romantic.” Abed says, looking at a picture of him and Troy on his nightstand.

“Sap.” Troy teases, but Abed just chuckles. 

“Koi no yokan.” he says simply. “Japanese. It’s the premonition of love. It’s not exactly love at first sight, but it’s meeting someone and knowing that it’s inevitable you’ll fall in love with them.”

“You think me falling in love with you was inevitable?” Troy asks.

Abed shakes his head, even though Troy can’t see it. “No. I think _me_ falling in love with _you_ was the inevitable part.”

**l.**

“I have one for you this time.” Troy says excitedly, bouncing on the balls of his feet in his hotel room.

“Really?” Abed asks, voice sounding surprised.

“Yeah. LeVar taught it to me.” Troy smiles. “It was kind of a hard one to learn, cause it’s Swedish, but he told me I did a pretty good job with it the other day.”

“Then by all means, take it away.” 

“Livsnjutare.” Troy says slowly, closing his eyes to concentrate. 

“Good job, Troy.” Abed says, and Troy can practically hear his smile through the phone. “Do you know what it means?”

“It means someone who loves life and lives it to the extreme.” Troy reads off the notecard he made. “LeVar said that that’s me, but I think it’s you.” 

“Me? But you’re the one travelling the world.”

“Yeah, sure, but you’re the one who can go anywhere. You can go to space, or a new timeline, or to the future.” Troy smiles. “You don’t let anything hold you back.”

Abed’s quiet for a minute before speaking up again. “That’s very kind of you to say, Troy.”

**m.**

Abed yawns for a long time through the phone. 

“Tired, babe?” Troy asks, fighting back his own yawn.

“Mhm.” Abed answers. “Mysa.” 

“Is that the word for this week?” Troy chuckles. 

“Mm. Means cozy.” Abed replies, his breath slowing through the speaker.

“Mysa.” Troy repeats quietly.

He stays on the line until he can hear Abed’s quiet snores.

**n.**

“I was thinking about what you told me last week.” Abed says when they get on the phone this time. Troy kicks his shoes off before falling into the hotel bed, sighing at the feeling of a plush mattress underneath him.

“What were you thinking about?” he asks, feeling himself sink deeper.

“If there was a word for how you were feeling. You said you felt overwhelmed, but in a good way, right?”

“Yeah.” Troy says, closing his eyes.

“Well, there’s a word I found that I think gets it kind of right. Or, as close as I could find it. You could say you’re feeling numinous.”

“Numinous.” Troy repeats. 

“Awed but attracted, fearful yet fascinated. You don’t know what’s coming, but you’re excited by it. Is that...does that sound right?” Abed asks, and Troy doesn’t need to see him to know he’s starting to crack his fingers in the nervous way he does.

“You hit the nail on the head.” Troy confirms, and he can hear Abed give a small sigh.

“Cool. Cool cool cool.”

**o.**

It’s another video call day. Tonight, Abed’s sitting on the beach. He’s far away and distant, feeling out of his body, but he can’t bail on Troy. Not tonight.

Troy doesn’t say anything when he gets on the call, just waits patiently for Abed to speak.

“Offing.” He says after a while. “Offing is that deep, distant stretch of ocean that you can see from the shore.” he stares straight ahead. “I look at it every night and hope you’ll come over the edge of the horizon. That the offing won’t seem so endless.”

“Soon.” Troy says gently.

“Can’t get here soon enough.” Abed sighs.

**p.**

“What are you doing?” Abed asks, listening to Troy breathe heavily and grunt. 

“I’m getting to the roof.” He forces out, eventually sighing and letting out a huge breath. “Made it.”

“Why are you on the roof?”

“Wanted to look at the stars.”

“Pareidolia is looking at the stars and expecting to see something familiar, even though it’s all disorderly. That wasn’t going to be my word for this week, but it’s funny you brought it up.”

“I think I see a dolphin.” Troy says, grinning.

“You know what?” Abed replies. “I think I see it, too.”

**q.**

“Te quiero.” Troy says to Abed over the phone.

“You remember the Spanish we took?”

“Not a word.” Troy says honestly. “But I overheard a guy say it to his boyfriend in Spain. It’s somewhere between ‘I love you’ and ‘I like you’. It’s more… intimate than that. It’s ‘I want you.’ Te quiero.”

“Te quiero.”

**r.**

“Sappy or educational?” Abed asks, opening up his laptop.

“I miss you extra today. Sappy.” Troy says, holding Abed’s cardigan close to his chest.

“Redamancy is the act of loving the one who loves you. A love returned in full.” Abed says. 

“So it’s me loving you as much as you love me?”

“Yup.”

“Well that’s impossible.”

“What?” Abed asks, concern lacing his voice. “Why?”

“Because I love you _more_ than you love me.” he grins. He hopes Abed will pick up on what he’s trying to do.

“Well, I love you the most.” Abed retorts.

“I love you _more_ than most.”

“I love you more than that.” Abed says confidently, like he’s sure he’s won. Troy gives a small sigh.

“It will never be as much as I love you.”

**s.**

“Letter S. Getting close to the end.”

“Yeah, we are.” Abed’s voice sounds sad.

“Hey, it’s okay. We’re not done yet.” Troy tries to cheer him up.

“I know.” His voice still sounds sad.

“I actually have a word for us this week, if that’s okay.” Troy cranes to see if he can hear a change in Abed’s demeanor.

“Sure.” his voice lilts up at the end. Bingo.

“Serdeczność.” Troy says confidently, and he can hear Abed let out a small gasp.

“Where did you learn any Polish?” Abed asks, excitement replacing the sadness that previously held his tone. 

“I learned it special for you.” Troy says, feeling a blush creep up on his cheeks. “I know I didn’t say it perfectly, but I figured you’d know what I meant.”

“Warmheartedness.” Abed says, and Troy smiles.

“Reminded me of you.”

“I can’t believe you learned that just for me.” Abed says, and Troy wishes he could see his face.

“I’d do anything for you.” 

**t.**

“You know how in movies sometimes there’s a moment when the actors just look at each other, but they never say anything, and it’s implied to the audience that there’s some unspoken dialogue there?” Abed says, watching the television blankly.

“Yeah, of course.” Troy says, and Abed can hear him brushing his teeth through the phone.

“There’s a word for it. Tacenda. It literally means ‘things better left unsaid.’”

“Huh.” Troy says as he shuts the water off in the background. “I don’t think it has as nice of a ring to it as ‘things better left unsaid.’” 

Abed snorts. “Yeah, you’re right. There’s plenty of better and more aesthetically pleasing ways to get the point across.”

“Which movie are you watching?”

“Friends with Benefits.” Abed chuckles. “Annie begged me to watch it, but it’s pure garbage.”

“Guess I better not tell you it’s my guilty pleasure movie then.” Troy chuckles.

Abed groans into a laugh. “Not you, too.”

**u.**

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, you’ve gotta say that one one more time.” Troy says, sitting up in bed like that will help him hear better.

Abed laughs. “Uňuchňat. It’s Czech.” 

“Sounds like gibberish.” Troy shakes his head. “What does it mean?”

Abed giggles. “To shower someone with boundless love.”

“Alright, remember that word for when I crush you in a hug the first time I see you after this is all said and done.” Troy says sternly, making Abed giggle again.

“Okay, noted.” he says after his laughs have died down a bit.

**v.**

Abed gets nervous when the phone hits it’s third ring. Troy always picks up the phone immediately when he calls. Finally, he picks up the phone.

“Sorry, sorry, I was in the shower. I’ve never risked so much trying to get out of the shower before.” Troy breathes heavily, and Abed doesn’t know if he should laugh or apologize. 

“It’s okay.” Abed finally says, once Troy’s breathing has slowed back to normal and he sounds less frazzled.

“Letter V.”

“Yup. And I have another German word for us.” Abed says, looking at his notes.

“Ooh, haven’t had one of those in a while.” 

“I know, I try to avoid them as much as possible, but this one was too good to pass up. You ready?”

“So ready.”

“Vorfreude, meaning ‘the joyful, intense anticipation that comes from imagining future pleasures.’” Abed says confidently.

“ _Pleasures_ , huh?” Troy says seductively, and Abed fakes a scoff.

“Okay, I didn’t mean it like _that_. I meant like, when you come home and I see you for the first time, type of pleasure.”

“Damn, sorry to turn your cute thing into something gross.” Troy says sheepishly. Abed laughs.

“I mean, I was thinking about _those_ pleasures, too. But mostly the first thing.”

“Mhm.” Troy says into the phone, teasing him.

**w.**

“I had a bad day.” Abed says quietly.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Troy’s voice is quiet through the speaker.

“Not really.” They sit in silence. “There’s this thing. It’s called waldosia. It’s when you scan the room, looking for the face of someone who has no business being there. Like looking for Tom Hanks in an Alaskan grocery store. Or Spiderman outside of Queens, not including recent events in the cinematic universe. They’re not going to be there.” Abed sighs as he pauses. “I’m doing it a lot lately, looking for you, even though you’re thousands of miles away from me.” he sniffles. “I want you to come home.” his voice breaks.

“I know.” Troy says, voice watery. “Soon, I promise.”

“Can’t come soon enough.”

“I know.”

**x.**

“I’m guessing X was a hard one to find.” Troy says, his phone on speaker laying on his chest. He’s tossing a ball up into the air and catching it with one hand, his mind running wild today.

“It’s not exactly algebra.” Abed says, and it takes until after the phone call is over for Troy to get the joke. “But I think I found something. Xuānxiè. In Chinese, it means ‘to let accumulated water flow.’”

“Huh. Like literally?” 

“I think it’s more of a metaphor. For your emotions. Like… unburdening yourself, almost.”

Troy catches the ball and stops to think. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s a beautiful way to put it.”

“Yeah, I thought so, too.” Abed says softly.

**y.**

“Remember gibigianna? Sunlight on the water?” Abed asks, looking at his calendar. He’s trying to ignore the dread in his stomach knowing their alphabet series is almost to an end, and he’s going to have to come up with something else to make their phone calls interesting.

“Yeah, I really liked that one.”

“Well, there’s a Turkish word for _moonlight_ on the water. Yakamoz.”

“Ooh, I like that one, too.” Troy says, and Abed smiles. “Not as much as our Italian though. I think I’m getting better at it.” 

“È così?”

“Sì. Molto meglio.” Troy responds, and Abed must admit, it’s all flowing a bit smoother than the last time they spoke in Italian. “Non vedo l’ora di vederti.”

Abed gives a sad smile to no one. “Anch’io.”

**z.**

“Letter Z.” Abed says sadly. 

“Yeah. End of an era, right?” Troy says.

“Mhm.” Abed rubs the material of Troy’s hoodie between his fingers. One of these days he’s going to put a hole in it.

“Well, what’s our word?” Troy asks, and Abed ignores the chatter in the background of Troy’s end of the call.

“Załatwić.” Abed says, picking his knees up into his chest on his couch. “It means to get a job done. Polish.” 

“Załatwić.” Troy repeats, making Abed smile.

“Almost perfect.” 

“Well, I think załatwić applies to one of us today.” Troy says, and Abed cocks his head to the side.

“How?”

-

There’s a knock on his front door, and Abed stares at it before dropping his phone onto the couch. He stands up with shaky legs, not sure if he wants to believe his own mind. 

_It’s too good to be true._

He opens the door, hands sweating and shaking, and is immediately tackled in a hug before he can even get the door all the way open. He knows he’s crying, but he’s too busy squeezing Troy as tightly as Troy’s holding him to care.

“Hey, baby.” Troy laughs wetly, making Abed laugh. “I missed you.”

**Author's Note:**

> u know the drill: damntrobed.tumblr.com


End file.
